CHILD DISCIPLINE
Parenting Step Children Easily With 7 Key Steps
Posted on February 12th, 2010 in Parenting
It is a good thing to search for tips on parenting step children. It implies you care and cherish the bond you can develop with them to gradually be respected and loved by them. You shouldn’t hope to be listened to at the beginning or to be permitted to discipline them. You are going to have to do one thing at a time.
To sum up the development of your relationship with your step children, you’ll start a bit as a baby sitter, then will be seen in some manner like an aunt or uncle and in the long run as a serious relative, a very close member of the family. Do not forget you really wish to become their friend. Their parents are here for the discipline part, you are not. And yes, that’s an advantage!
Parenting step children requires 7 steps:
1- Be clear when introducing who you are and what you would like to be for them. Make certain they comprehend you don’t want to steal the place of their mum or dad. You should be out of the discipline issue from the beginning. Make clear you will not apply punishments but will just apply what has been determined with their parents by reporting wrong behaviors to them because they decide of the consequences. It’s an agreement you have. You just would like to know your step children better and to be friends if it sounds ok for them. Speak openly to help them say what they think. You’re an “intruder” for them, it is completely normal.
2- Show interest in your step children’s lives. They may find this strange and might not answer a lot but keep asking questions, it will eventually pay off. Always try to know what is happening in their lives, try to remember the things they discuss, their friends’ names, important dates… It’ll astonish them. Parenting step children is actually about being there.
3- Be a team with your partner. Speak with one voice or the step children might attempt to turn one against the other and benefit from your disagreements. If your loved one legitimates your place in the family, it will eventually be easier for you.
4- Be patient in your effort to create a solid relationship with your step children. It takes patience of course but don’t lose hope. If you are consistent in your behaviour, your step children will more likely count on you. Simply be there for them and respect the time they might need to get closer to you.
5- Spend some time alone with each of them, do activities they like. On your way back home, stop by a coffeehouse to drink or eat something and talk a little. It’ll let them to see a different facet of you and they will keep in mind what you shared and how amusing and simple it was. Doing one-on-one activities can make parenting step children easier and will build the relationship quicker.
6- Be open with what you think. Let them know it is tough for you but that you sincerely would like to be their friend. Ask them what they feel. By speaking freely, they will be far more willing to discuss their feelings toward you. Of course it can hurt a little, but since they’ll be surprised you’re not their enemy and understand them, they will feel compassion for you too!
7- Have humor! It will help the family look at things in perspective and will soothe some tensions. Humor will surely help you get closer to your step children.
It would be a lie to claim that parenting step children is really simple but with those 7 steps, I’m certain you can create your own place in their hearts and become a full member of their family. You’ll be respected and loved. Be available for them, be constant, entertaining and compassionate.
A last word for the step mums and dads of very difficult children, a parenting program can definitely help parenting step children that are really hard to deal and communicate with. If you need such help you might be interested by a website created by parents for parents where you’ll find a selection of effective parenting methods and reviews of each of them. The website is www.YourParentingHelp.com. By the way, one of the authors of these methods is a step dad! Good luck !
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