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Do you spend the majority of your waking moments chasing after your children because they are not listening to you, and you feel like you have to micro-manage?

Do you have no energy because all your energy is spent being frustrated and blocked by your children’s apparent inability to follow orders?

Well, the good news is you may be able to get back your time and energy and a balanced family life simply by understanding what the communication block is between you and your children.

Of course, every child is unique. Some children need their freedom more than others. Some children enjoy structure, and some do not. But what they all do have is one, two, three or four communication modalities or communication modes in common.

What is a communication modality or mode?

As Dr. Robby, Director of the LMC Relationship Centre, Developer of the Better Parents, Better Kids Program, and co-author of our e-book, Better Parents, Better Kids, explains:

“Communication is the result you get. Different people are on different channels. We learn, we express love and communicate through different modes or combinations of modes. It is important to know who you are playing with and what channel they are playing on, or else your communication will not be very effective. We basically all want to get what we want. If you cannot get your message through of what your needs, wants, dreams, goals and visions are, you will be very frustrated and stressed. So an understanding of communication modes is a basic skill for relationship success, whether that is a relationship with a partner, your children, friends, family or coworkers.”

The following is a very basic definition of the communication modes. You can be primarily one mode or a mixture of up to all four.

Visual people communicate by seeing and doing. They like activities and they like gifts. They notice people, places and things with just the slightest glance. They feel and share love by doing things with or for other people. They take things at face value and do not look deeper into things. They learn by seeing and doing.

Auditory people communicate through talking. They have the natural gift of the gab, are designed to be able to talk for long periods of time. They enjoy talking and listening to other people talk. They feel loved when they are talked to, and like to hear the words “I love you.” They learn by hearing.

Digital people communicate through connection and understanding. They find the deeper meaning in everything they think, see and do. Understanding is very important to them. They feel loved when they share connections with others and are understood. They learn by understanding.

Kinesthetic people communicate through their bodies. They move, feel and express through their bodies. Kinesthetics love to touch, feel, do physical activities and hug. They feel loved when they are touched. They learn through touch and through experience.

So children are not any different. If you are giving children orders or directions and they are not picking up your orders because they are in your own communication mode and not their own communication mode, they will genuinely not pick up or learn what you are trying to tell them or teach them. They are not being stubborn or defiant; they genuinely aren’t receiving it. It’s like you are talking on an AM radio station and your children are receiving on an FM radio station.

For example, my youngest son is a Visual child, and I used to have to repeatedly tell him to pick up his clothes and clean his room, but to him, my auditory orders were basically like the teacher’s on the Charlie Brown cartoons, just a series of muffled noises. But after learning about communication modes, I realized that if I really wanted to get across to him what I wanted, I had to show him what I wanted him to do, or do it with him, since a Visual child, just like Visual adults, likes doing things with you, as does a Kinesthetic child. The result is that now I never have to repeat myself with my son; he picks up and understands my visual cues.

For an Auditory child, if you are a Visual parent and you are showing your child how to clean and tidy up, it won’t have an impact on them unless you tell them what you want and/or narrate as you are doing it. This works for a Digital child as well, if you explain step by step what you are doing so they understand the whole process.

For a Kinesthetic child, let them do a run-through themselves, or let them hold on to or touch what it is that you are teaching or getting them to do. Kinesthetic children learn and remember through touch. Even though a Visual child likes doing, a Visual child can learn by just seeing and watching, whereas a Kinesthetic child has to go through the motions to truly learn.

There is a part of you (especially if you are Visual) saying, “Yeah, I’ll believe it when I see it.” There is also a part of you that is connecting the dots and saying, “Yeah, that makes sense, and that explains why my child does what they do that way.”

So go ahead and come up with creative ways to communicate with your children in their communication modes, and see, hear, understand and/or feel what happens. You may just get that time, energy and peace of mind that you have always wanted, as well as a balanced and happy family, too.

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Tanis Nicole Wright -
About the Author:

Tanis Nicole Wright is the Head Consultant/Coach of the Better Parents, Better Kids Parenting System Program as well as the co-author of the e-book Better Parents, Better Kids.

Are you interested in learning more parenting and communication tips from Tanis Nicole Wright? Check out her Better Parents, Better Kids Main Website at http://www.bpbkonline.com

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How To Write Wedding Invitations

Posted on December 20th, 2010 in Parenting

How To Write Wedding Invitations

How To Write Wedding Invitations

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How To Write Wedding Invitations

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Posted: Mar 24, 2008 |Comments: 0
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Order invitations only when you have confirmation from your wedding and reception sites. Note the time of the reception on the receptions cards in the event of an extended lag in time between the wedding and reception beyond the normal transit time needed between sites.

A broad range of prices is available among the different styles of invitations, but the price of comparable invitations varies little from store to store. Most stores require a 50% deposit when ordering, with the balance to be paid at delivery.

It is wise to order about 5 percent more invitations than needed to cover any mistakes or forgotten people.

How to Write Wedding Invitations

At the time you order the invitations, have the correct form for the names of the persons giving the wedding, the full names of the bride and groom, and the time, date, and location of the ceremony. Do you want a general idea of how to write wedding invitations? Look below.

If the wedding is given by your mother and father:

Mr. and Mrs. James T. Smith
request the honor of your presence
at the marriage of their daughter
Mary Sue
to
Robert John Brown
(etc.)

If the wedding is given by you and the groom:

Mary Sue Smith
and Robert John Brown
request the honor of your presence
at their marriage
(etc.)

If the wedding is given by your mother, and your father is deceased,

Mrs. James T. Smith
requests the honor of your presence
at the marriage of her daughter
Mary Sue
(etc.)

If your mother has remarried, use her present husbands name:

Mr and Mrs. John C. Howard
request the honor of your presence
at the marriage of her daughter
Mary Sue Smith
(etc.)

If the wedding is given by your mother, and your parents are divorced, use your mothers maiden name plus your fathers last name:

Mrs. Anne Miller Smith
requests the honor of your presence
at the marriage of her daughter
Mary Sue
(etc.)

If the wedding is given by your father, and either your parents are divorced or your mother is deceased:

Mr. James T. Smith
requests the honor of your presence
at the marriage of his daughter
Mary Sue
(etc.)

If your father has remarried:

Mr. and Mrs. James T. Smith
request the honor of your presence
at the marriage of his daughter
Mary Sue
(etc.)

If the wedding is given by your divorced parents, and each has remarried,

Mr. and Mrs. James T. Smith
and
Mr. and Mrs. Scott .M. Jones
request the honor of your presence
at the marriage of their daughter
Mary Sue Smith
(etc.)

How to Write Wedding Invites

When deciding how to write your wedding invites, and what style of wording to use, remember that… the honor of your presence… usually refers to a religious or formal service and…. the pleasure of your company… usually refers to a civil or casual service. Consultants at specialty shops are available to help you with the wording.

The only difference in wording between military and civilian weddings is in the use of service titles. These titles are used in the following manner:

– army, marine corps: rank of captain or higher
– navy: rank of commodore or higher

Their rank precedes their name, and the service designation follows on the next line under their name:

Captain Robert John Brown
United States Army

For officers whose ranks are below those listed above, list their name on a single line, with the line below showing their rank and service designation:

Robert John Brown
Lieutenant, United States Navy

For military personnel without rank, list their name on a single line, with the line below showing their service designation:

Robert John Brown
United States Marine Corps

A bride in the military may omit using her own rank and service designation on the invitations unless she plans to be married in her uniform.

The addressing should be handwritten. Traditionally it is done in black ink, but the same color as the printing may also be used.

The invitations will come with two sets of envelopes.

When addressing outer envelopes:
– All formal titles such as doctor, captain, and reverend are written out.
– Semi-formal titles such as Ms., Mr., and Mrs. are abbreviated.
– Avenue, street, road, etc., are written out, as are the city and state.

The wording on the inner envelope should include the titles and the last names only of the invited adults. If you wish to invite children under the age of eighteen, write their first names on a line below their parents on the inner envelope. Older children in the family should receive their own invitations. The phrase… and family… instead of the childrens name should never be used.

Mr. and Mrs. Johnson
John, Scott, Sarah, and Sue

Once the invitations are addressed, place all the enclosures in the envelopes in this manner:

– Place the reception card inside the invitation.
– Put the response card in its envelope, and place inside invitation
– Place map, if used, inside invitation
– Place tissue over printing on invitation to prevent smudging
– Tuck the invitation, folded edge down, into the inner envelope.
– Place the inner envelope into the outer envelope so the writing on the inner envelope faces flap.

When purchasing stamps for mailing, have the invitation, including all enclosures, weighted to determine the correct postage.

Mail all the invitations at the same time, using first-class stamps.

A stamp must be provided on the return envelope if response cards are used.

The following example of response card wording eliminates confusion for your guests and increases the likelihood that they will return the cards on time.

The favor of a reply
is requested before
June first.

M_____________________________
will _________ will not _______ attend.
Number of persons: _______________

When ordering invitations, also order any other stationery accessories you may need. This includes:

– Reception cards, showing the time and place of the event.
– Response cards with printed reply-address envelopes, to be enclosed with the invitation so you can plan for the number of guests that will attend the reception.
– Informal thank-you notes, having the name of the bride or the bride and groom on the outside, and blank on the inside.
– Thank-you notes, with a preprinted message to acknowledge when a gift is received.
– Personalized napkins and matches for the guests to use or to keep as souvenirs.
– Announcements, to be sent to those you would have liked to attend your wedding, but who could not.
– Pew cards, rarely used, but appropriate for ultra-formal wedding situations, e.g., with celebrities and dignitaries: the cards may be enclosed with the invitation or sent after the acceptance has been received to ensure tha correct number of seats.
– Wedding programs, showing the order of the service and listing all participants. These can be folded or rolled like a scroll and tied with ribbon. Not only does a printed program serve as a guide to your wedding ceremony, but it is also a keepsake for your guests.

Programs can be engraved, printed with offset printing, or produced by word processor on a laser printer, with calligraphy added later.

The program covers may be obtained from printers who offer a variety of paper stocks, from manufacturers of wedding invitations who offer several different styles, or from religious supply houses of bookstores who carry appropriate church bulletin covers. Or they can be of your own creation, including a photograph of the bridal couple, special drawing, etc.

The program could contain the wedding date, time, and location; the names of all the participants, their positions in the wedding, and their relationship to the bride and groom;; and the order of the ceremony, with any special reading or observances. Expressions of the gratitude from the bridal couple to their families and guests, and any clarifying information regarding the wedding service or reception, could also be included.

If possible, have your programs printed only two weeks or so before the wedding, to include any last- minute changes. Allow enough time, however, for proofreading the copy, making any corrections, and receiving delivery of the finished product.

Thank-you notes do not have to be long, but they should be personal. to achieve this goal:

– Mention your spouses name.
– Mention the gift.
– Tell what you liked about the gift.
– Tell how you will use it.

– It is better to use the blank thank-you note (informals) rather than the preprinted ones.

– Thank-you notes that denote the couple as being married – Mr. and Mrs. Robert Brown or Mary Sue and Robert Brown – should be reserved for use after the wedding. For notes sent before the wedding, the printing should read as in these example: Mary Sue Smith and Robert Brown, or Mary Sue and Robert, or Mary Sue Smith.

If the engagement is broken after the wedding invitations are in the mail and there is sufficient time, you may send a printed announcement of the change of plans, as in this example:

Mr. and Mrs. _____________
announce that the marriage of their daughter,
__________ to Mr. ______________,
will not take place.

When there is not enough time, you will need to phone each invited guest. It is not necessary to reveal reasons for the breakup. Any gifts must be returned to the sender.

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Robert Reno -
About the Author:

Robert Reno works for Encore Event Group. His team provides modern DJs, lighting design, and photo booth rentals for Michigan events. Visit the following links for more info about their Encore Photo Booths or Michigan Wedding DJ.

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Make Money With Your Digital Camera

Posted on December 20th, 2010 in Parenting Help

Make Money With Your Digital Camera

Make Money With Your Digital Camera

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Make Money With Your Digital Camera

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Posted: Jul 29, 2008 |Comments: 0

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Many professional photographers started their careers by photographing weddings. It can be a lot of fun, and also very rewarding. Established professional weddings photographers can earn six figure incomes every year. And if you really enjoy the photographic process, and are looking for a way to make some money, either full time or part time, than my photography course can help.

Wedding photography can be a very lucrative part time of full time option. In money terms, the market for wedding photography is approx. billion. You can make some good money with photography if you want. Billion per year. That’s a sizable market. A good DSLR, a good flash and a couple of good lenses will enable you to begin a career in photography, But most important is your enjoyment in taking photos. The course I have designed is what I call a Studio in a Box, and includes everything you need to start you own photography business including all the business forms you will need. You can see more information and order at www.howtoshootweddings.net.

One of the first questions I am asked when shooting with a digital camera (after the “which camera do you use, question), is, what format should I shoot? Tiff, High Res JPEG, RAW etc. And the answer is very simple. RAW! There is NO other option. And you need to make sure that you are using the highest resolution (megapixels) available on your camera.

You should only be using a digital SLR (DSLR) camera, with the most powerful (expensive) flash available for your system. When you shoot a wedding, you will need to use flash for basically every shot you take. Both indoors and out and even in bright sunlight. Flash is important for lighting subjects indoors but it is also very important outside in bright light as it help to provide even lighting on the subjects.

The bride has usually spent a good deal of money buying her dress and you need to ensure that you get some good photos of the dress. You need to be careful and make sure there is lots of detail in the dress. Digital camera sensors are still unable to record as wide a gamut of light compared with traditional film. Digital cameras have a very narrow capability to record the full range from light to dark. This is where you need to be able to balance the flash with the available light to get acceptable results. Otherwise, you may have some angry people calling you after the event. You cannot afford to mess up a wedding, you only get one shot. So, make sure you do lots of practice before your first real, paying event. A good way to practice is to have you wife/girlfriend/kids dress up in white clothes and take lots of shots and note the settings you need to get detail in the dress, and good skin tones on the brides face.

Whenever possible, set up the kids in the bridal party by themselves. These kinds of photos will sell to the parents, the bride and groom and many other family members, especially the grandparents. Part of your job is to not just take good photos, but to take photos that will sell and keep you in a job and allow you to buy more equipment as you need it. You should always take individual shots of each kid and have the parents help to get them comfortable so you can get some good shots. Always try to choose an interesting background where possible. In order to focus attention on the kids and not the background, I have made a selection around the kids in Adobe Photoshop, and darkened the background a little, so the kids will stand out and be the attention of the photo.

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Tom Jackson -
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My photography course includes everything you need to start your own business. You can see more details on the course and sample files at my website or visit my blog for some general tips on using your digital camera.

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